My Healing Journey
In the first half of my life I went to the University of Cincinnati to become a civil engineer, got married, had 2 boys, moved across the country several times, sold Discovery Toys and Longaberger baskets, and finally had my own custom window treatment business. All pretty “normal”, right?
To just about everyone, I had an amazing life! Nice house, new cars, good family, successful husband, and we traveled internationally. So why wasn’t I happy? My healing journey began more than 7 years ago when I asked myself that very question. I had suffered from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I tried to soothe the pain in my life with food and alcohol. I was almost 250 pounds when I started trying to figure out what was wrong in my life. I did not love myself, and I was not sure if I really loved anyone else. What I came to realize was that much of this angst was due to sexual abuse and assaults in my past that I tried to bury and forget.
My life since then has changed drastically. Some say I am a totally different person, but I believe I am just more of my “real” self. We learn throughout life what is safe and what is not, how we “should” be for others to like/love/accept us. We morph ourselves into being the person we think we are supposed to be. In the process we forget who we truly are. We wonder why we are not happy, what the meaning of life is, what our purpose in being here could be.
We stop listening to that small voice inside of us. First that voice is like a whisper in our ear. We ignore it because we are so busy and/or do not want to hear the message. Then it gets louder–more like a tap on the shoulder. It may show up as an accident, heartburn, frequent sickness, pneumonia, etc. If we ignore it again, it becomes more persistent—more like a 2×4 to the head! What does that look like? Usually a major life event. What has gotten your attention? Could it be the death of a loved one? Divorce? Cancer, heart attack or another life-altering illness? This is your soul calling out, via your physical body, for your attention because something is not right.
This is the transformational journey. It is not always an easy one, but it is worth it in the end. This is what I want to help others (YOU!) do–remember who you are and heal.